I am sitting on my balcony while on vacation in beautiful Florida. I have just completed a meditation, and I’m inspired to write a few words on this sunny breezy Sunday afternoon. The meditation I completed discussed wishing happiness to both your closest friends, and more importantly, to those whom you may have a more complicated relationship with. I believe focusing on positivity is key to maintaining a good state of mental health. I also believe these same positive thoughts produce a good energy space to live and work in.
Think of a person you may know who elicits negative thoughts and emotions within you. There are two things wrong with this. Firstly, you are allowing someone else to change your mental well being. Secondly, these thoughts can produce a negative space for others to be around. During my simple yet powerful meditation today, I thought of different people that I share different relationships with. One was a friend, another an acquaintance, and finally someone that brings stressful energy into my life. The meditation practice discussed wishing all of these people happiness, wellness, and a life free from suffering. This really helped to put my own emotions in check, and also to be aware of the end goal. What is the end goal? Happiness of course. No matter what someone has done or said to you it’s important to realize that they have experienced their own struggles and pain. We are not responsible for their words or actions, just our own.
If we allow another to effect our mental state then we lose a little bit of happiness every moment we sit in that space. Try to let go and wish all of the people in your life well. It feels good to want joy for others. It takes love and understanding to create a compassionate world. I left my meditation in a happy state even though I was asked to think of a negative person in my life. Mission accomplished.
On that note, I wish you all happiness, wellness, and if just for a moment a little less suffering.
If there were more emotional empathy, there would be less suffering.
I try to my best to understand how someone else might be feeling whenever I engage in conversations with others. It is easy to quickly become upset by a comment someone makes. When I am put in a situation where I don’t agree with someone or have a different viewpoint, I first try to understand why they might feel a certain way.
After nearly 9 years of working as a registered nurse, empathy is the one of the most powerful things I have learned. Not that I couldn’t relate to others prior, but it has truly opened my eyes. I am often times put in situations where families and/or the patients themselves become upset for various reasons. In the beginning of my career I guess you could say I was less capable of dealing with this. In response to angry comments or complains, I would sometimes find myself becoming angry or frustrated.
I began to realize that the reason the patient and families were so upset was due to stress. A family stressed by the sudden realization that they would have to be taking a family member home that could no longer walk, or a diagnosis of a new life-threatening disease. They weren’t mad at me, they were stressed, sad, and frustrated by their own situations. They were suffering. This is when I started to truly understand empathy.
All of the times nurses are yelled at by patients and families, it’s usually not personal. Everyday nurses practice empathy and this helps us get through our day. We realize that the burden of sickness is deeply stressful and overwhelming, so we can empathize. Instead of reacting with a frustrated or angry tone, I find keeping calm and remaining considerate is always the best approach. I can’t tell you how many people have apologized when I have remained calm and caring. It sometimes even sparks a conversation, and they are able to vent about their stress, they are able to suffer less.
Arguing causes suffering, try to empathize
Think about an argument you’ve had recently. Did you try to prove your point, were you trying to win? Did you take the time to see the other persons viewpoint?I find this helps, a lot.
Remember, anger is usually just sadness. And to be sad, is to suffer. You don’t really want the other person to suffer do you? To feel sad? If someone calls you a name, or puts you down, or is rude, I find a great way to combat this is to ask the person , “What was your intention when you said ……?” People usually immediately self reflect because it puts the responsibility back on them. They have to ask themselves, “What was my intention when I said….?” (Was it to make the other person sad or to hurt them? Probably not.)
Our egos have a funny way of working, sometimes they deal with sadness by trying to bring pain to the other person. Of course, we don’t want to bring suffering to our loved one or a friend. Try to see past the comments people might make. Try to understand why they might be angry, try to empathize.
The next time you are faced with a challenging situation, an angry person, try to understand why they feel the way they do before you react with anger as well. Perhaps they are just hurt, perhaps they are suffering.
As a society, we have been conditioned since birth to eat certain animals ( cows, pigs, fish) and love others (dogs, cats). This is likely the reason many of us have such a difficult time wrapping our heads around the idea of veganism. It’s as if animal consumption was never a choice really, just a part of life. I never remember giving much thought to eating animals growing up. As far as I’m concerned I’ve always loved animals, but then why did I eat them? Conditioning. Culture. Tradition. So many things tie us to animal consumption. Someone once told me “I can’t give up meat, my family would be so upset”. But what about them? what about the animals…
It’s easy to be served a burger in a restaurant and not associate a cow with it when you take a bite. We are so far removed from the process of how our food gets to us, that we just don’t think about it.
Cows, chickens and other animals have feelings. They get scared, they miss their moms when they get separated, and they feel pain.
If the only way you could get a burger was to kill the cow yourself, would you still want the burger? I assume a lot fewer people would be eating meat if this were the case. Every time we purchase dairy, eggs, meat, poultry, and fish we are in fact paying someone else to kill that being for us.
I am not trying to make you feel bad. If you do feel bad it’s probably because you’ve never thought of the foods you eat in this way, that’s ok, most people never think of this. My goal is simply to help you understand that you have a choice.
Why I’m vegan…
My journey to veganism started in February of 2016, I was watching a YouTube video about makeup, and the person was discussing cruelty-free animal products. In the middle of her video she inserted some disturbing images of what happens to animals when they are tested with the makeup and body products we use each day. I knew products were tested on animals but I never gave it much thought until I saw that video. I suddenly felt compelled to research day and night about animal cruelty. What I read and the images I saw were shocking. To this day I think “are we insane?” Is our society so blinded by its own desires for products, for things…. I know I was. I went vegetarian the day I saw that YouTube video, and 7 months later I went vegan. For those of you not familiar, this means I no longer eat animals. Veganism is more than just about the food you eat, it also means you don’t wear or use any products made with animal ingredients or tested on animals. I am still transitioning to vegan products, which I’m sure will take some time. I don’t believe in wasting the things I already have, that wouldn’t be practical. There are several other reasons I chose veganism, which I will discuss on my blog in the future.
Guilt
I still hold a lot of guilt inside about all the unnecessary suffering I contributed to for the last 30 years. Surprisingly, this has been the hardest part of going vegan for me. The emotional guilt. I also struggle with purchasing animal products for other people as well. How can you really tell a family member or friend while out to lunch, “Sorry I don’t want to pay for the burger you ordered”. Some might say, “Don’t worry about it, you are doing so much already.” I try to think about it in this way, but it’s very difficult for me. I’m happy I woke up though, that’s what it feels like. It’s odd, I think back to before, when I ate animals….it seems like forever ago, but it hasn’t even been a year.
Consider giving up just one animal product? For them?
I’ve always disliked the attitudes some vegans have towards people who consume animals. If you do eat animals, I am not here to judge you. I am here to share my feelings and knowledge. To help you see animal consumption differently. I don’t think you are a bad person if you eat meat. Perhaps you just haven’t received enough info on the topic.
If you are interested in stopping your contributions to animal suffering, try taking one animal product out of your diet. The way I see it, everything makes a difference. If you give up red meat then you are no longer paying someone to kill cows. You are also not contributing to the massive amount of water it takes to produce red meat either. Not to mention all the methane cows release which is contributing greatly to global warming.
Look for this bunny on the products you buy, it means the company doesn’t harm animals in any way
Still not convinced?
Try watching a few documentaries: Forks Over knives, Cowspiracy, Earthlings, and there is a new one up on Netflix called Food Choices. There are also many books, articles and me. If you have any questions feel free to comment below. I’m currently reading….
Compassion for all
The older we get, the more we reflect on life. I think a lot about what I want to be remembered for. Veganism is definitely one of them. I guess I feel like I found my purpose in a way. I want everyone to love more, to care. I hope someone who reads this makes a change, maybe that person will be you.
thepeacefulhappyvegan 