If there were more emotional empathy, there would be less suffering.
I try to my best to understand how someone else might be feeling whenever I engage in conversations with others. It is easy to quickly become upset by a comment someone makes. When I am put in a situation where I don’t agree with someone or have a different viewpoint, I first try to understand why they might feel a certain way.
After nearly 9 years of working as a registered nurse, empathy is the one of the most powerful things I have learned. Not that I couldn’t relate to others prior, but it has truly opened my eyes. I am often times put in situations where families and/or the patients themselves become upset for various reasons. In the beginning of my career I guess you could say I was less capable of dealing with this. In response to angry comments or complains, I would sometimes find myself becoming angry or frustrated.
I began to realize that the reason the patient and families were so upset was due to stress. A family stressed by the sudden realization that they would have to be taking a family member home that could no longer walk, or a diagnosis of a new life-threatening disease. They weren’t mad at me, they were stressed, sad, and frustrated by their own situations. They were suffering. This is when I started to truly understand empathy.
All of the times nurses are yelled at by patients and families, it’s usually not personal. Everyday nurses practice empathy and this helps us get through our day. We realize that the burden of sickness is deeply stressful and overwhelming, so we can empathize. Instead of reacting with a frustrated or angry tone, I find keeping calm and remaining considerate is always the best approach. I can’t tell you how many people have apologized when I have remained calm and caring. It sometimes even sparks a conversation, and they are able to vent about their stress, they are able to suffer less.
Arguing causes suffering, try to empathize
Think about an argument you’ve had recently. Did you try to prove your point, were you trying to win? Did you take the time to see the other persons viewpoint?I find this helps, a lot.
Remember, anger is usually just sadness. And to be sad, is to suffer. You don’t really want the other person to suffer do you? To feel sad? If someone calls you a name, or puts you down, or is rude, I find a great way to combat this is to ask the person , “What was your intention when you said ……?” People usually immediately self reflect because it puts the responsibility back on them. They have to ask themselves, “What was my intention when I said….?” (Was it to make the other person sad or to hurt them? Probably not.)
Our egos have a funny way of working, sometimes they deal with sadness by trying to bring pain to the other person. Of course, we don’t want to bring suffering to our loved one or a friend. Try to see past the comments people might make. Try to understand why they might be angry, try to empathize.
The next time you are faced with a challenging situation, an angry person, try to understand why they feel the way they do before you react with anger as well. Perhaps they are just hurt, perhaps they are suffering.
Have a peaceful, happy day
thepeacefulhappyvegan 