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Love is …

July 24, 2017July 25, 2017 ThePeacefulHappyVeganLeave a comment

I’ve spent the last 6 years in the best relationship I’ve ever had, I’m married now, and excited for the our future together. People say there are ups and downs in all relationships, I agree, things come up, and you won’t always see eye to eye with the one you love. It’s important to see the bigger picture though, and to be aware of what you need or what you need to change. Be flexible, kind, and open. I’ll discuss some of the ways I approach my relationships, and the tips that have worked for us.

#1 Pick a good one

Initially you must be selfish. It’s important to be mindful of the things you are looking for in a partner. The things you want, and the things you are willing to tolerate. When you first meet someone it’s easy to be blinded by the excitement. You might even see things you don’t like and brush them aside. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, this is fine. If you are however looking for a long term or lifetime partner, it’s crucial to see the small things too. This is YOUR life after all, and my guess is you probably want it to be happy one. When you enter into a relationship you are accepting the person as they are. Hopefully you know enough about them to be confident in your choice. If someone changes for the worse over time that is out of your control, but if there are things you dislike or know you can’t live with from the start, don’t hope or expect they will change. Pick a good one.

#2 Maintain your independence

A relationship is a great thing, two people coming together and embarking on a life journey. My journey is made better, enhanced with the person I love. Life is brighter, happier when I’m with him. I believe our relationship is healthy because we have kept our identities. What I mean is, we came into our relationship with some similar interests and some different ones. The different ones are the most important because those are what makes us individuals. Maintaining your personal interests and independence is vital in the longevity of a relationship. Don’t give anything up for anyone if it makes you happy and is a positive influence in your life. The opposite is also true, don’t make your partner give up something they love. When people enter a relationship and lose who they are, they may become too dependent on their partner. You each need to experience the things you enjoy, and feel free to try new things without judgement.

# 3 Keep Calm

This is the first relationship I’ve had where I’ve never yelled or never been yelled at. No one likes yelling, Its useless, and makes you both feel bad in the end. The approach that always seems to work for me is being honest with my feelings, as sappy and lame as this may sound to you. When you are honest about how you feel, the other person can’t really respond in anger, or yell. If you’re frustrated about house chores, money or anything for that matter, try to talk. Pile on the feels. An example would be the house chore situation. If someone isn’t doing their part, explain why it frustrates you. “ I feel alone, and overwhelmed when I have to do this all on my own, and that makes me feel sad.” This may sound dramatic to you but I’m certain the reaction will likely be a positive one. If you yell or nag at someone instead of explaining how it makes you feel, you’re likely to get the same heated response back. This is just an example though, if you’re reaction is “I’ve already tried this and it doesn’t work” refer back to #1 above. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t care about his or her feelings, not me. If your significant other doesn’t seem to care, than you have a decision to make. You accept their behavior or don’t.

If your thinking,“It’s not that easy, we have children, a home, a life” Remember…It’s never to late to change, children or no children, it’s likely an unhappy relationship will affect your children as well. Arguments, stress, and sadness will not help your children/family, please keep this in mind.

#4 Trust
Trust is probably one of the most important aspects in a relationship. If you don’t have it, you have nothing. I believe everything is built upon this one value. When there is trust…there is calm, there is confidence, there is love. Trust can be small or big, let me explain. Small trust encompasses all the little things you say you are going to do, and do them. If dinner is at 8, be there at 8. If you say your going to finish the laundry, finish it. If you keep your word this will help you to earn small trust. Your partner will feel more comfortable and confident that they can depend on you. Big trust is a bit heavier, for example, being faithful, emotionally, and physically. This type of trust is devastating when lost. So be very careful. If your not happy with your partner, let them know, communication is your best friend in these situations. It will save both of you lots of heartache if you always remain honest with each other. Showing your partner you care and that you’re reliable will foster a healthy and happy relationship.

#5 Laugh, a lot

One of the best qualities about my love is his ability to make me laugh all time, and vice versa. Don’t take life so seriously that you can’t laugh at small quarrels or stressful situations. In fact, when things are most stressful it’s almost more enjoyable to laugh. Many things in life are out of our control, accidents happen, life happens.

Recently I was pulling my car out of the garage and hit the right side. I had a terrible headache that day, and instead of reversing and repositioning my car, I just kept driving forward. Obviously I was lacking some patience at that moment, but I called my hubby later that day and we both laughed about it. I wasn’t mad, and he wasn’t either. Why? Because shit happens!!! No one was hurt, it’s just a car. We didn’t even think about it for days until we saw the scratch, and when we did, we laughed again.

Sometimes life isn’t so light, sometimes people are sick, hurt, and during those times tears are shed, and we have sad days as well. We just make sure to always be grateful when life is good, and to enjoy as much as we can. Life is way to short to be grumpy or upset all the time, we choose happiness, you should too.

Wish the world well

April 16, 2017May 1, 2017 ThePeacefulHappyVeganLeave a comment

I am sitting on my balcony while on vacation in beautiful Florida. I have just completed a meditation, and I’m inspired to write a few words on this sunny breezy Sunday afternoon. The meditation I completed discussed wishing happiness to both your closest friends, and more importantly, to those whom you may have a more complicated relationship with. I believe focusing on positivity is key to maintaining a good state of mental health. I also believe these same positive thoughts produce a good energy space to live and work in.

Think of a person you may know who elicits negative thoughts and emotions within you. There are two things wrong with this. Firstly, you are allowing someone else to change your mental well being. Secondly, these thoughts can produce a negative space for others to be around. During my simple yet powerful meditation today, I thought of different people that I share different relationships with. One was a friend, another an acquaintance, and finally someone that brings stressful energy into my life. The meditation practice discussed wishing all of these people happiness, wellness, and a life free from suffering. This really helped to put my own emotions in check, and also to be aware of the end goal. What is the end goal? Happiness of course. No matter what someone has done or said to you it’s important to realize that they have experienced their own struggles and pain. We are not responsible for their words or actions, just our own.

If we allow another to effect our mental state then we lose a little bit of happiness every moment we sit in that space. Try to let go and wish all of the people in your life well. It feels good to want joy for others. It takes love and understanding to create a compassionate world. I left my meditation in a happy state even though I was asked to think of a negative person in my life. Mission accomplished.

On that note, I wish you all happiness, wellness, and if just for a moment a little less suffering.

Have a happy and peaceful day

Pack less stuff, have more fun

January 10, 2017January 10, 2017 ThePeacefulHappyVeganLeave a comment

I used to be the worst at packing light. Just for reference, I used to take a full-sized large luggage and a carry on with me….to Vegas ( I live in Los Angeles). Don’t laugh, even if you’ve never packed this way, you probably know someone who has. I was one of those people who just had to take everything. Full size shampoo bottles, 4-5 pairs of shoes, and an insane amount of outfit choices.

We decided to go to New Zealand and Hawaii in the spring of last year. My fiance said he was only going to bring a carry-on. “WHAT?!!!!” I said. He then suggested we both try to take a carry-on only. Mind you, this was a 12 day trip. I was very hesitant, as this left little room for option. Packing is usually a stressful time for me, I get so worried about what I might forget. This time around, it was different.

Instead of feeling stressed, I felt the opposite. When I really thought about it, I never did wear all the clothes I brought before. I was ready to take on the challenge. I ended up packing 2 pairs of jeans, a few pairs of leggings, about 5 tops, two sweaters, and a bathing suit. I have a small rain jacket which I packed into my carry-on, and I wore a heavier jacket on the plane, as well as my heavier pair of shoes. I took two pairs of pajamas, a small bag of toiletries and makeup, socks, and undergarments. (we purchased cheap beach towels and accessories in Hawaii)

Here are some tips I have for packing light and efficient

Roll your clothes! Don’t fold your jeans and leggings, roll them, it takes up less room.
Bring your own quick drying wash cloth. If you are traveling to another country realize that not every place supplies those small wash towels we are all familiar with. In Ireland, we found this to be the case sometimes. I also like to have my own small wash cloth, it feels cleaner. On amazon you can find a brand called Lunatec. They dry in 5-10 min! You can shower, pack your stuff and throw in the dry towel. Lunatec Travel Washcloths
Two pairs of shoes only, you can get away with three if the third is a pair of flats or sandals. This made my trip to New Zealand so easy. Boots and a pair of Nike’s is what I took. The boots matched with everything and looked nice for going out at night. Then on the days I wanted to explore, my Nike’s were super comfortable.
Buy a travel blow-dryer or straighter if you must have them. I have a small travel dryer by BabyLiss that I purchased on amazon. It works great, and when folded is smaller than the size of my hand. I usually bring this because we tend to say in rentals opposed to hotels. BaByliss Travel Hairdryer
Minimize makeup. Try finding a small makeup bag, and tell yourself you can only pack what fits inside. I use a travel makeup palette similar to the one shown here. Almost everything you need in one place.
Packable Jackets are life! I have a Cole Haan rain jacket that is perfect for day and night. It was pricey but I’ve used it so many times. Best part is that it folds down quite small.
Do laundry in another country or state. My fiance and I had a fun time finding a laundry spot in Paris. After we started our laundry, we sat outside and people watched while having some coffee and snacks. This will allow you to pack less clothes.
Space bags! If you are still unsure about packing light, or really want that extra sweater. Pick up some space bags by Ziplock. They are great, they provide a vacuum seal by rolling the air out by hand, and they are re-usable. Ziplock Travel Spacebag
Bring only one “night” outfit. You will kill yourself if you try to bring multiple outfits to wear at night. What I’ve learned is that if you throw on a jacket, scarf, and add a piece of jewelry it can dress up a day outfit quite nicely. If you have scheduled events, this is a different scenario, but for basic travel, just have one nice outfit, just in case.
Dryer sheets and a trash bag. I always bring dryer sheets. I put them in a small bag and poke a few holes into the bag. My clothes always smell fresh, and If I decide to do laundry, I can use the sheets. The trash bag, or other bag I use for dirty laundry.
Pack for the best case scenario! If your going to another state this is an easier concept to grasp, but it remains true for international travel as well. Remember these other countries will have everything you need if you forget something. You’ll even find familiar brands abroad, like Dove, Pantene, ect. (I’ll probably bring my own products on my next trip, as I am trying to transition to vegan products, but I’m sure other countries have these as well).

I hope you’ve enjoyed these tips. My trip to New Zealand was so much easier because I simplified my packing. I didn’t have multiple clothing options everyday, so I spent less time getting ready, and more time exploring. I now feel more organized with a minimal amount of things to pack.

My favorite travel sweater (Cruising through a rainforest in New Zealand)

Happy Travels

Have a peaceful and happy day.

Why you should save for an experience instead of more things

December 30, 2016December 31, 2016 ThePeacefulHappyVegan2 Comments

If I could trade in the last ten years of unnecessary items I purchased, and travel instead, I would.

I’ve found that “things” i.e. Clothes, shoes, bags, makeup, tend to get old. I doubt you still sit around admiring that top you just had to have 5 years ago with the same excitement and joy you felt while you were purchasing it. Some of us are just so consumed by stuff, we end up with closets full of crap we don’t use, but swear that we will. This is ridiculous.

In some ways my closet still looks like this, but I have donated lots of clothes and items I don’t use this past year in an effort to reduce the chaos that is my closet. I still purchase things, but only if I know it will be useful in my everyday life and make me happy. Clothes and other material items are something I have reduced buying in 2016.

So why did my mindset change? Why did I start saving more for trips and less for things?

img_0584-copy — Cliffs of Moher, Ireland (photo taken by me)

Ireland!

Almost two years ago I took my first international trip to Ireland with a close friend of mine. This trip popped the bubble I had been living in nearly all my life. I’m not sure why, but as a child I never really imagined leaving this country. I felt comfortable. Small trips locally were fine, but it took Ireland to truly open my eyes to the world. It is a beautifully peaceful country with kind people and chill vibes. Endless green rolling hills filled with sheep that roam free. Life there seems simple, and calm. It was a dream.

“But I can’t afford to go on a trip like that” you might be saying. Yes, you actually can. There are so many cheap travel sites that offer great flight deals. Use apps like airbnb and stay in an apartment for half the cost of a hotel. Trust me, if you want to travel, it is possible, it just takes planning. It may take you several years to save for the trip of your dreams, but it will be amazing. Start small, think about what you spend everyday and make little changes as you go. My biggest hurdle was avoiding shopping for clothes, I used to be at the mall nearly once or twice a week. In 2016, I can honestly remember three times when I purchased clothes, and if I remember correctly, two of those times were online. Now that I know how great traveling is, I realize all the things I had been accumulating just matter less.

Get Inspired!

Go to your local bookstore and pick up a travel book on a country that interests you. You will find many tips in these books that can help with trip planning. If you’ve always dreamed of going to Europe, look into books by Rick Steves. A friend of mine recommended his books, and I am so grateful she did. My fiance and I used his books to plan a three-week European trip last year.

Now, I mention international travel, but for some this is not possible, for various reasons. Try looking into local getaways, maybe your goal is just visiting another state. There are books for this as well. Or, if you are nervous about international travel, try a 3-6 hour flight and a smaller trip first. Work your way up

Scared of Flying

I once was too, as are many people in this world. Try meditation, an app called “Headspace” has a free fear of flying meditation that you can listen to. If you download the lesson before taking flight, you’ll be able to listen to it in airplane mode 😉 Reading spiritual books have helped me better control my thoughts, and have reduced my anxiety in general. My favorite is “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, I will be discussing him more in the future. We all have fears, but try not to let your fear of flying stop you from travel, there is far too much out there to explore.

Plan today

Don’t wait any longer if traveling is what you want. Start saving today or planning today. This doesn’t mean go and book a flight, it means take a step. Decide where it is you truly want to go and make changes in how you spend your money. Don’t feel pressure to leave the country right away either, remember, you can start small. Memories are precious and priceless. The amount of money you save and spend on your trip will buy you a lifetime of memories that you will no doubt treasure forever. You’ll forget about that cool shirt you bought, those sneakers you just had to have, once your standing in front of the Eiffel Tower or taking a stroll in the rolling green hills of Ireland. Sometimes we just need a new perspective to motivate us, I hope I’ve given that to you today.

Have a peaceful, happy day