I am sitting on my balcony while on vacation in beautiful Florida. I have just completed a meditation, and I’m inspired to write a few words on this sunny breezy Sunday afternoon. The meditation I completed discussed wishing happiness to both your closest friends, and more importantly, to those whom you may have a more complicated relationship with. I believe focusing on positivity is key to maintaining a good state of mental health. I also believe these same positive thoughts produce a good energy space to live and work in.
Think of a person you may know who elicits negative thoughts and emotions within you. There are two things wrong with this. Firstly, you are allowing someone else to change your mental well being. Secondly, these thoughts can produce a negative space for others to be around. During my simple yet powerful meditation today, I thought of different people that I share different relationships with. One was a friend, another an acquaintance, and finally someone that brings stressful energy into my life. The meditation practice discussed wishing all of these people happiness, wellness, and a life free from suffering. This really helped to put my own emotions in check, and also to be aware of the end goal. What is the end goal? Happiness of course. No matter what someone has done or said to you it’s important to realize that they have experienced their own struggles and pain. We are not responsible for their words or actions, just our own.
If we allow another to effect our mental state then we lose a little bit of happiness every moment we sit in that space. Try to let go and wish all of the people in your life well. It feels good to want joy for others. It takes love and understanding to create a compassionate world. I left my meditation in a happy state even though I was asked to think of a negative person in my life. Mission accomplished.
On that note, I wish you all happiness, wellness, and if just for a moment a little less suffering.
This post is intended to remind you about the importance of your journey
We are all on a different journey. You might have a career goal, or an educational goal like obtaining a specific degree. Maybe your goal is to have a family, to buy a house? Goals and planning are a necessity in life, we all need to think about our future from time to time, but I want to remind you that true happiness can only come from now, and should not be dependent on a goal. If you do not enjoy or find happiness in the steps you take on your journey to your goals, then you would have wasted much of your life being unhappy.
Exactly when will you be happy then? Will you only be happy once ______? Happiness comes from now, not from tomorrow. You can apply this to anything you are working toward currently. Take a moment to think about your goals. Do you feel you will be happier once you accomplish them?
What if you don’t? What if you never get that promotion? What if you are unable to finish school? What if you get sick? There are many what ifs in life, which is why it only makes sense to be happy now. Happiness should not be dependent on what you accomplish, life is always changing, and often times things don’t end up the way we have planned. It is easier, lighter, simpler to enjoy each breathe, each step, now. There will be times of frustration while you are up late writing a paper, or staying late at work, putting in extra time to get to your goals, but it’s important to always assess your life situation. Do you spend more time being happy or unhappy. If you had a few stressful days last month but overall you feel good, happy, that is fine. If you spent a quarter of your month miserable or unhappy try to see what you can do differently to improve your mood.
Perhaps you are working two jobs to pay your rent, or you could be a single mom or dad struggling to afford childcare. No matter what your circumstance, it is normal to feel stressed or worried. Life is challenging, and some of us are in situations out of our control. Not everyone is happy all the time, I understand this. There is a lot of suffering in this world, but those who suffer need people around them to lift them up. A smile, a hug, a conversation. Being grateful for what you do have, reflecting, and appreciating can help to create and instant feeling of joy.
If you know me, then you know that I am usually smiling or laughing. I’ve been this way since I was a child. I’ve found that being joyful is often contagious. If I can bring joy to a friend who is stressed, a family member who is sad, or a patient that is suffering, I have a great sense of inner joy and happiness.
I don’t expect you to go skipping through the streets everyday, I just want you to get the most out of life.
Someone once told me, “What do you have to be stressed about? You have a good job, money, you travel.” Little did that person know I was suffering from terrible anxiety at that point in my life. It was a burden which took nearly two years to overcome. I still occasionally have moments of anxiety, but I am in a much better place today. It is easy to judge someone on the outside. Keep in mind that some of us have internal struggles that are overbearing and just as difficult as financial hardships or other external struggles.
Make sure you spend your time doing what you love, with who you love.
My profession as a nurse has given me a deep understanding and appreciation for life. I often see people at the end of their lives. Let me tell you, no one cares what they look like, how thin or heavy they are, what brand of clothes they are wearing, or how many things they have. The only thing that matters to most of my patients is family. All of us will leave this world one day, and I already know when it’s my time, I will be at peace. This is because I live my life with intention; I try my best to make good choices, to be kind, and to do what I believe is right. This is one of the reasons I decided to go vegan as well. I am deeply saddened by the state of our environment and the continued abuse of animals. We need change now, not tomorrow. I wish more people felt the same, there would be a great deal of change if people chose to make changes today instead of tomorrow.
I hope I have given you something to think about today. I want all of you to find happiness. If your situation is difficult and stressful, try taking a few minutes of peace each day to sit with yourself, be grateful for the things you do have, redirect your negative thoughts to positive ones. Maybe you are grateful to be alive, to be walking, to be healthy. We all have something to be grateful for. This will create a good foundation for happiness and joy in your life.
The title of this post is also the name of a chapter in my favorite book, The Power of Now ( Eckhart Tolle). I have adapted some of his concepts in my post, and I’ve created hypothetical situations in order to better explain what peace is.
To have peace is to accept what is.
Portland Japanese Garden
Unhappiness and Peace
Imagine you’re late for work one morning, you spill your coffee while driving. At the stop light you feel a sudden bump at the back of your car, yep… you’ve been rear ended. There’s no damage and you’re ok.
Think for a second the feelings you might experience. Unhappiness maybe? Most people would feel the same.
What happens next is completely up to you, yet we tend to let our egos take over.
The ego will always take the accident personally. The ego thinks that when the other driver woke up this morning, they had every intention on hitting the backside of your car…they wanted to in fact. This is obviously ridiculous, but its important to highlight how insane our egoistic minds can be. The person whose reaction is to yell, or get aggressive with the other driver has no control of his or her ego. They are simply unaware that they have the ability to control their thoughts and emotions, and that is fine.
“Fine?” yes it is fine because one day hopefully sooner than later they will wake up and realize the foolishness of their ways, and if they don’t, they will suffer a great deal in their life, which is of course very sad really.
…Perhaps this would never be you, maybe you have some control over your emotions.Yes! You’ve decided to take the high road. You smile slightly at the other driver, ask if they are ok, and exchange insurance information. But on the inside your ego isn’t quite ready to let it go. Thoughts and feelings of anger and frustration flood your mind after you continue down the road to work. Is this really a more peaceful place to be than the angry person we discussed previously? No, it is not.
Your ego can be your worst enemy on your quest to finding peace.Your ego will have “happy” moments (arrogance for example) and “unhappy”moments (jealousy). Neither of these will lead you to peace. Lets go back to the start. Peace is to accept what is. If on the outside you are angry and yelling, you are being verbal about not accepting the accident. If you appear calmer on the exterior but carry feelings of anger and frustration inside you are quietly not accepting the situation. Either way, you haven’t accepted what is, and you wont have peace until you do.
The person who calmly asks the other driver if they are ok, exchanges insurance info and then proceeds to work without any thoughts besides practical ones ( “I’ll need to call the insurance company after work” or “I’ll need to get a quote on repairs) is the person who has peace. They realize that the accident is just that, an ACCIDENT. They have accepted what is, and they move on. Beyond happiness and unhappiness there is peace.
Happiness and Peace
It is important to recognize that peace shouldn’t be dependent on your happiness.
Let’s say you’ve been wanting to go on a weekend getaway but couldn’t quite save up enough the past few months. While at work you receive word that your boss has decided to give you a bonus, suddenly you feel happy, and at peace. The check is to be issued in several days, and you feel a sense of calm and excitement all week, knowing you will soon be planning your trip.
A few days later you receive your check….but when you go home, you find that a pipe has burst and flooded your bathroom. Let me guess…no more peace?….well that was quick.
There are multiple ways someone might react, but you see where I am going with this.
In this situation, if you have peace, you have everything. You would be able to recognize and accept what has happened. The pipe burst, and you’ll have to fix it. You might even feel thankful that you now have your bonus check to take care of the repairs. You feel a sense of peace and gratitude.
There will always be ups and downs, happiness and unhappiness, life is always changing and we shouldn’t let our sense of peace and calm be determined by these events.
“Are we just supposed to accept everything that happens to us? That makes no sense.”
Practice your peace, but be practical.
I’m constantly working on maintaining peace in my everyday life. I’ve grown and feel much more in control now than ever before. Remember to start small. What is something that interrupted your peace today?
Was it the lawn mower that woke you up at 7 am? Perhaps you were very annoyed, angry even. Think of this situation a different way. You actually let the sound of a machine ruin your morning? really?
Now, if you can do something to change your bad situation, than you should. Maybe you ask your neighbor to mow the lawn after 9? why not? To have peace doesn’t mean you have to accept everything, it means you accept what you can’t control. If your neighbor respects your request, great, problem solved. If he doesn’t, then accept that it may happen again. Do your best to change unpleasant situations as they arise, and have peace with them if you can’t.
New Zealand 2016
Peace comes from within
I remember when my practice started paying off. It was about a year ago, I was in the parking lot at work, and I dented/scratched my car while parking, it was witnessed by a friend of mine. For some reason I had no internal reaction of unhappiness, it was instant acceptance for me. My friend quickly got out of her car and said “oh my gosh, how are you ok with this?, I would freak out.” I don’t think she’s alone, I probably would have had the same reaction in the past. Instead I was full of peace, acceptance. I actually forgot it happened for a day or two afterwards. Similar experiences of peace have happened to me while in unpleasant situations since then. I try to bring peace into everything I do, it makes life lighter, easier, and more joyful.
So today, if you are faced with an unplesant situation, first see if you can do anything to change it, If not, try to accept it, try to have peace.
thepeacefulhappyvegan 